I was 1 month shy of my 13th birthday when my father passed away. I was a Daddy’s girl so the feeling of emptiness weighed on me quite heavily. For many years after that life changing experience, I was afraid to lose a friend or family member. To be honest, just until a fear years ago, I probably feared loss and death in an unhealthy way.
If I reached out to a family member or friend and didn’t hear back within a “reasonable” timeframe, I would immediately fear the worse. If my co-worker didn’t show up for work (or my boss “forgot” to tell me they had called out), a knot in my stomach would begin to develop. And then I realized that fear, especially the fear of losing someone, was my immediate reaction to lots of things and I could no longer allow myself to let it consume my thoughts so quickly.
Along with the help of a counselor, I came to realize that I had two options:
- Give in to fear and let it consume me.
- Trust God and choose to believe what the Word of God says.
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.” (Psalm 46:1-3 ESV)
Instead of thinking, “It was an awful experience but God brought me through,” we often times stay in the discouragement of the deep loss or fear we experienced. Satan wants to grab onto our life so we give in to our fears and stop trusting God. But it’s important for us all to acknowledge that the fear which keeps you from living life is the fear Satan wants you to have.
I don’t know why God chose that day in 2011 to take my dad home, but the Bible says God works all things together for good (Romans 8:28). If I believe God’s word, then I trust that God made the right decision.
We should praise God and have a greater confidence that we can handle the future instead of pulling back in life. I no longer have an unhealthy fear of death (to be honest, I don’t like dealing with it at all but who does?) or instantly think the worst has happened. I know in my heart that ultimately God is good. He will stand on His promises to work all things (even the things that initially seem set out to destroy us) for good.